Guided by Light in Love

It has been a while now since I have written anything new.  I have been focusing all of my energy on raising my son and taking care of my wife.  Instead of writing in order to feel some type of purpose, I have found great purpose in creating a new masterpiece on a perfectly blank canvas.  That canvas is starting to do things for a response, roll, grab, and communicate.  He is starting to form and it is incredible to think we created him.

My son was in the NICU for 12 days.  He was born with HIE (Hypoxic Ischemia Encephalopathy).  For some reason (“Ideology Unknown”), my son bled back into the placenta.  After an emergency c-section, he was still born with extensive brain damage.  But, he is perfect.  It is almost as if we were expecting play-doh and received a hunk of clay.  It is more difficult to form.  The care expected to create from this medium is greater, but the result is more detailed, rich, and realistic.  My hands hurt, but the shape is forming itself and it is one of the most beautiful things I have ever had the honor of sensing.

In short, that is why I have been absent from this blog.  I have been creating.

Tomorrow, after six long months, I will focus on a different creation.  For about eight years, I have been waiting to begin a life of pure discipline.  A life totally focused in finding God, Love, and Peace in all moments.  January 2nd, 2018 is when this life will finally begin.

I am nervous, to say the least.  I am nervous because I understand the weight of this endeavor.  I feel as though this will be my last attempt at becoming the man I was meant to be.  Due to this being my last attempt, I will not fail.  And now, my friends, I have a spirit watching, cheering me on with his laughter, and motivating me to stay on my path with his daily evolution.

Tomorrow, I begin a path of pure light.  My life will consist of only things that bring joy and health; things that I have known for a long time are Good and Right, but that I have not had the courage to fully commit to.  I am doing this for myself, first.  This will bring my greatest contentment.  If I commit to challenging myself everyday to be the best man that I can be, I will take my last breath with final peace.  I am doing this for my son and my wife, second.  If I am my greatest self, I will be my greatest self for them.  I will be a man who my wife and son honor.  This is my quest.

Tomorrow there will be no more tomorrows.

I am so insanely in love with my wife and my son, I will take a path that is insane to most people in order to be worthy of their love.  I will be ridiculed, this I know.  I will be laughed at, this I have experienced countless times before.  I will be mocked.  People will not understand my journey, but it will be mine and mine alone.  I will walk this path with my best friend and she will hold my hand when I falter, but she will be walking her own unique path of different colors and shapes.

I call on God, our Mother, the Angels, all of the Ascended Masters, and my Ancestors.  I call on light and love and all that is good and true.  I call on the wind and rain, the trees and dirt, the rivers and waterfalls.  I call you.  For the next year, all that I do is to feel you in all things, to hear you more clearly, and to be totally immersed in this adventure in paradise.

I will not fail because you will be holding my hand.  I will not fail because my love is too great.  When I am downtrodden and blinded by the illusion of momentary pleasure, your spirit will remind me of my quest.

I bid you all farewell.  For the next time I write, I will be walking the straight path where light is my guide and love is my compass.

 

If you desire to support my son and/or immerse yourself in his story of true courage and the power of love, visit https://www.gofundme.com/william-dunbar-v-medical-fund.

A Post to My Unborn Son

Your mother loves having you in her belly.  In fact, I find her in strange places around the house lying down on the carpet in order to feel you move.  She giggles a lot as you move around.  Her light shines through her smile as she laughs and places her hand on her stomach.  Soon, you will better understand the light of which I write.  She is an angel, my son.  When you are older, you will share the honor of protecting her so that her goodness can spread throughout our world.

I am jealous of our mother because she has already formed a bond with you.  Both of your souls dance together.  This is why I have never found her more beautiful.  Though, I am sure when you are born, somehow I will find her even more gorgeous with the wisdom that she gave birth to you, my son.

You will be different, Willy.  This, I can promise.  Because of this, I can also promise that your life will be difficult.  However, you will come to understand this difficulty as a privilege given only to those who have the courage to face their inner demons and rise above their false egos.  Also, people will think I am a bad father.  They will believe this because I will not spoil you with gifts or allow you to be the center of attention when you have not earned it.  “Good job,” will only be used when you have done something to deserve praise.  You will be tough so that you can handle the darkness of our world, but you will be soft so that in this darkness you can bend, not break.

We will both teach you all about love, joy, freedom, and God.  However, I will teach you to master your pain and rise above your suffering.  This may make your resent me in some moments, but I know you will always respect me.  I know this because I am creating myself into a man worthy of honor and respect.  This, my son, comes with discipline, courage, and fortitude.

Society will not be your teacher.  You will learn from the wind and rain.  We will work to liberate the self so that you, myself, and your mother can find bliss in all moments.  Your body is the temple in which your soul lives, so you will be strong and healthy and you will understand why we live disciplined lives.  When you ask a question, I will tell you the truth.  If you are old enough to ask the question, you are old enough to hear the answer.  You will not grow in our image, but in your own.  When you are old enough to choose what to believe, you will be free to travel that path.

True love has created you.  We know you have chosen us as your parents, so we work diligently every day to become the parents you knew we could be.  Everyday I tell your mother how beautiful she is and she smiles at me like someone who has touched God.  Everyday she kisses me to wake me from my sleep and every night we kiss before we dream of you and your little, wiggly toes.

We are ready for you, son.  When we made love, we called your name.  You answered that call.  Like the wind blowing through the leaves of the beech tree, you ever so lightly settled into the belly of an angel.  She will now teach both of us how to know God.  You are man by nature, my son, and God by the grace of God.

Your mother is sleeping right now.  It is time to wake her from her nap.  It is one of my favorite things to do, for when I wake her she looks at me as if she has not seen me for a hundred years and you know what she does next, she takes my hand and places it on her belly and she giggles as you move.  Living, my son, is unimaginably beautiful.  We can’t wait to share it with you…

GRATITUDE

I woke up this morning showered with soft kisses.  “Good morning, my Willy.  My beautiful man,” she said as she touched her gentle lips to my chin, my cheeks, my nose, my eyes, and my lips.  And then, she watched me as I stretched like a baby waking from a nap.  I awoke this morning as I do every morning, to her soft caress, the smell of her perfume awakening my senses.  I am beyond grateful for the life I have created.  I wanted to share this gratitude with the world.  With all of you.  Even more so, I want to write this post to give life to the thoughts swirling around in my mind, to turn them into emotions so that they will cement in my being for the rest of eternity.

I am grateful for…

A wife who fills me with wonder every morning.
Her body that constantly reminds me of the miracles of existence.
My son, your kicks and movements and your pure spirit still connected with God.
Her belly.  I never knew a bump could be so breathtakingly beautiful.
My puppy, Peanut, and how she wiggles her entire body every time I walk into a room.
The way Peanut follows me wherever I go; how she can never be close enough to me.
The sadness I feel every morning when my Little leaves for work.
The excitement for when she returns.
This house and how we have created it to be a representation of our inner spirits.
The blooming fruit trees, especially the crab apple trees.  You are all magnificent.
My mother and father and how they ache for my happiness.
My sister and the way she looks at me.  Her eyes makes me believe in myself.
Getting down on my knees, bowing to my wife, as I listen to baby Willi.
This land, it’s energy, and all the spirits who protect us.
My friends who’s smiles make me feel like the wealthiest man I know.
Spring.
Her intense and unconditional love for me and who I have become.
Her understanding of my unorthodox views and how she guides my evolution.
God, angels, the universe, my ancestors, and all those who listen and answer my prayers.
Seeing past illusion.
Music that matches the high frequencies I emit.
Abundance, health, wealth, joy, peace, and freedom.
Love.
Our love.
Your love.
Our connection to all.
The way she looks at me when she comes home, like she has not seen me for years.
You and your smile and the time you took to read this.

The farther I travel down this path, the less I can explain how it is I am feeling to each of you.  It is rather incredible, the power of each moment.  Do you see it, feel it?  I bow to each of you, for each of you is a master with infinite knowledge.  You are all beautiful.  The beauty of life fills me so completely that tears become its only way of escape.  Let go.  Surrender.  And for the goodness of all, be grateful.

Today is a miracle.  Remember, you love more, the more you give.  Simple.

I love you.